tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41530128348488369962024-02-07T17:03:44.508-08:00Thoughts of A Free MindThis is my area, my zone - from where it all began. I come here to say what I feel from the core of my heart.Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-12092862784134027912016-09-13T05:09:00.002-07:002016-09-13T05:09:56.683-07:00The Mighty and the Damned<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">To start with, I would like to share that I am an avid reader. I love reading books - they are literally my best friends. Give me a book and a properly brewed cup of ginger tea, and you will find me purring contentedly on my couch for an entire weekend - with no need for cell phones, television or even a laptop. And like all book lovers, I absolutely<i> adore</i> reading classic literature. I will not be so impertinent as to say that it is easy for me - indeed, some of the famous literary works such as Ulysses and Illiad took me a long time to finish. The language and the subtle meanings hidden in every sentence was quite heavy, and it took me a long time to thoroughly read and appreciate them. But every time I turned over the last page of a classic, it gave my heart immense joy and a strange kind of a satisfaction - a feeling one usually gets after he/she accomplishes something noteworthy - like running a marathon, or losing X kgs. It is like a gorgeous hangover - one in which I keep going over the stuff I read and perceived. A feeling, due to which I often tend to dissolve into thoughtful meditation for several days until I am ready for the next book, the next adventure.</span><br /><div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">These books, these great works of literature aren't great because of their fabulous story lines. Most of these stories are very simple, and can be summarised in less than 4 lines. The reason why these books have been acclaimed to be classics, the reason why generation after generation falls in love with the magic woven by these great authors - is that the way these insignificant stories have been narrated, the way simple yet extraordinary characters have been portrayed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">These books contain pearls of wisdom about human nature, about the course of life, and about the world in general. The insights described by these authors are indeed spell binding - it makes every reader pause and think... for several seconds. It compels the reader to go through the same lines, the same paragraphs, the same verses several times - only to find a new insight, a new truth, a new perspective and a new learning. In simple words, these books are classics because they make the reader wonder about their own life, and enable him/her to draw worthy conclusions. Even if these books may not practically answer the questions which may plague the reader at any level, they do help the reader develop a perspective which may not have been possible to attain easily.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">If anyone is a big fan of reading classic literature - such as George Orwell, Rabindranath Tagore, the Bronte Sisters, etc. - you will probably agree with my observation that in most of these books, the tone is of desolation, despair, hopelessness, and the selfishness of human beings which tend to make the lives of the protagonists miserable. Jane Eyre lives a miserable, thankless life in-spite of being intelligent for her time and brave (until of course, the happy ending), Agnes Grey too has a similar life till the end of the story, Odysseus goes through trails and agony for several years until he is reunited with his family, Dorothy (of 'The Clergyman's Daughter' by George Orwell) goes through several horrible incidents for no fault of hers, and so on. </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">However, I also observe that most of these protagonists are loners. The reason why most of the classics in the modern age are considered "serious" is because they have this aura of despair and hopelessness. I often wondered if it was the romanticising of destitution, wretchedness and poor fate which made the protagonists of these stories such strong characters. I mean - there is a pattern. None of these characters would have reached the climax of the story - wherein their character develops a steel coating and emerges victorious after all the crap they have gone through. It made me wonder - are these characters someone who we all secretly ache to be? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Even modern literature echos these thoughts - although on a.... let's just say.... different - level. Take Superman, Spiderman, Batman, etc. for an example. All these characters were ordinary losers like you and me.... maybe even worse, because they went through stuff which no one, under normal circumstances, could overcome. If Peter Parker wasn't bitten by a spider which gave him superpowers, he would have probably become a boring corporate guy, working at a menial job where everyone takes advantage of his "eager to please" nature, forever playing second fiddle to his richer friend who would ultimately end up marrying the woman of his dreams (and hated every second of his existence. Some advanced authors would have even probably developed his character into that of a psychotic mass murderer). If Bruce Wayne wasn't a rich guy, he would have probably succumbed to the path of drug addiction or crime, and died a meaningless death in some godforsaken alleyway, just because the path of struggling for life's basics would have been ingrained in his persona. If Superman wasn't an alien, he would have just been an ordinary kid, with ordinary talents.... and would have led an ordinary life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Closer home - even Ranbir Kapoor in Rockstar echoes this sentiment - he says that since he has led a very ordinary life, devoid of tragedy and pain, his voice lacks the quality required to really strike a chord in people's hearts. So great was his epiphany.... that he went the extent of looking for tragedy. And when he did acquire what he wanted, he accomplished his goal. Unfortunately, by then, his goals and priorities had changed, and he found that he had taken a lot more than he had bargained for. Aditya Roy Kapoor in the movie Aashiqui 2 is a hopeless alcoholic. But it was his undying love for the art (and later the woman) which made him get over himself and mould another individual.... develop a legacy which he could leave behind. Even, to the extent of making him give the ultimate sacrifice. In an alternate universe - what would have happened if he wasn't an alcoholic? What would have happened if Rockstar (Ranbir Kapoor) would have just been a maestro at the vocal arts - much like Sachin Tendulkar in the field of cricket? (BTW - I am NOT undermining Mr. Tendulkar in anyway - I think the man is a real inspiration to all of us who would love to follow our dreams and passions.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">However - after further thought, it occurred to me that the common factor in all these characters was not their tragic lives. It was their loneliness. It was the fact that all of these great characters who generations will continue to love and adore and identify with (on some level) is that they were all lonely people, with no real friends. Even if they did have any family or friend, they had eventually been deserted, at some point. And that, in my opinion is where the greatest difference between them and us lies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Don't get me wrong. These characters had friends and family. But they were loners - because they chose to deal with their problems alone, rather than take the support of their friends and family. THAT is the real difference between a loner and everyone else (who isn't a loner). The underlying trait between all these people is that unlike common behaviour, they chose to deal with their situations alone. They never asked for help. In fact, even when some faithful, well meaning friends offered help, they shunned them - simply because they believed in something else, something which common people would never understand, some values which they held of their own, some fire within themselves which they refused to extinguish. They marched to their own drummers, they danced to their own tunes, they created their own destiny. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Modern literature authors (creators of Spiderman, Superman, Batman, etc) chose to add a touch of fantasy. These characters were lonely too - if you notice, none of them had any real friends who would stand up with them and give them a safe haven while the bullshit ravelled around them. (I am not going to explain this with examples - just think about it). I have no idea why the authors did it - maybe these writers were more cynical and thought that only miracles could create invincible characters. Maybe, they wanted to create cool, awesome characters which everyone WANTED to be, as opposed to classic literature authors where they developed strong characters who adapted to their situations.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The minute I realised this, I felt blessed. Because, I realised that I don't need to have the strength of Jane Eyre, the resilience of Odysseus, the powers of Superman or the wealth of Batman. I don't, and I may never develop these strengths. Like everyone else, like these characters, I too, may go through all kinds of crap. For example, I may lose my job. My dreams may shatter, or a loved one could be lost. I may get into a horrific road accident and lose my limbs/sight. A terminal disease. Some world catastrophe. I may never find the love of my life. Or I may have to spend all my life living in rented apartments, with no proper plan for the future. I have no idea - shit happens, and it happens to everyone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The rampant poverty in our society, the hungry kids I see around me, the poor teenagers living in slums begging shamelessly for clothes or discarded mobiles, the diseased dying on the streets, the overworked autowala who, in a moment of frustration raises his hand on his infant daughter, the couples huddling under tarp in freezing winters/rains.... all of this will continue around me, and I will probably never be able to help them in any significant way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I know for sure that I will probably never obtain super powers or wealth or wealthy significant others like the characters in the stories which will enable me to make any difference in my own, or in any one else's life. I am just me - boring, helpless, me.... and the thought sometimes makes me feel terrified. Terrified, that I have been given an easy life (relatively), a sound mind, and a healthy body - and yet, I would probably be less than useless in the face of any calamity - be it in my own or in anyone else's life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">But then, my second observation brightens the bleak background. I realise that unlike the protagonists in these stories - I do have something which they don't. And that's friendship. I have friends. Friends and family who I can blindly count on, no matter what the situation is. Friends and family who have supported me always. They have celebrated like maniacs for the ups in my life (no matter how insignificant or silly), and have held my hand and comforted me when life was totally kicking my ass. And <i>That</i> knowledge gives me a strength - a feeling of invincibility which probably even Batman, Superman or Odysseus did not have - because they weren't surrounded by family and friends who were even half as wonderful as mine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">And that single realisation sets me free. It makes me realise that life can go any way. After all, it is life, and it has to go in some way. But in this unpredictable journey, I am not alone. And that single truth probably makes me even more powerful, more invincible, and stronger than all fictional heros/heriones put together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Everything's gonna be OK. Eventually. It is my firm belief - a faith which sets me free, and allows me to live happily. And here, I would like to tell you too (in case you have any doubts at the moment) - that you may be going through shit too. You may be going through breakups/divorces, difficult moments in career, annoying people who make your lives hell for no good reason, painful health issues, losses in family/friends, business problems, identity issues...... but please rest assured ...... that it will be alright. Not because you found a miracle, or a rich partner, or won a lottery, or obtained super human powers. You will be OK... you will get past this..... simply because.....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">You aren't alone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">P.S. - If you aren't convinced and still harbour cynical thoughts, just google phrases like "importance of reaching out", "power of friendship", etc. I am soooooo not getting into that!</span></div>
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Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-3390204485641180912015-04-04T13:31:00.001-07:002015-04-04T13:31:55.304-07:00The Infinite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
She's fiery. She's beautiful. She's the best woman you have ever known. She's warm, she's nurturing... She's your childhood best friend.. She's who you wanted to be and more.<br />
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She's the essence of the fire we call pure.. She's the warmth of the sunlight we grew up with. Her smile is the forever we knew ... Her forever is our childhood that was pure.<br />
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She's infinite.. She expands in every direction. She smiles our worries away, she laughs our sorrows apart.. Her tears Are our heartaches expressed.. Her beauty is like the spirit of the earth... Pure, natural, older than time and yet so ahead of our future. She is limitless.. She is who we want to be. Her hair ... Long and golden... Are the threads of happy times... Her eyes are the pranks we played in our childhood. Her smile is heavenly... Golden like the sun, and serene like the moonlight. Her passion is our spirits combined into one. She loves like no other.... She hates no one.. Her thoughts are pure like the waters of the Himalayas... Her love.. Her love is the essence of everything that is true.<br />
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She is my best friend. I love her & worship her. Her tears are priceless.. Yet I stand helplessly.. As they flow for an unworthy.<br />
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I call thee unworthy now... Cuz thou hast no inkling of the treasure you behold. Indeed.. It is a shame upon our times... Such a woman is cast aside.<br />
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She is precious like sapphires melting in ice on mountain tops. She is rare.. As a golden rose smiling in the sunlight. Her warm heart... So big and pure.. Calls for love that is as innocent as a baby's smile... Yet as seductive as a cauldron of diamonds. She is truly infinite... Her virtues extend into every direction ahead of time... To understand her, your heart needs to acquaint itself with the gravity of love.<br />
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Her love is undefinable, unquestionable... Infallible. To attain such unquestionable love is truly an achievement of the noblest of humans.. The gentlest of hearts.. The most virtuous of warriors.<br />
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Embrace her... Love her. Lose yourself in her. And maybe then... You would find yourself worthy of that gentle heart.<br />
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Hurt her, let her noble tears drop to the ground.. And you would be in great consequence... For hurting such a noble love is besmirching the very blessings of the enlightened one himself.<br />
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Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-37748921942751867392015-03-09T11:22:00.001-07:002015-03-09T11:23:02.089-07:00My reflection - My self - My alter ego - Myself<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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You are just like me. We control. We fight.
We bulldoze our way into things we feel that’s right. We follow our hearts. Endlessly.
To the point where other people tell us that we are crazy, and that we are just
hurting ourselves. But that’s just us.</div>
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<span lang="EN-US">We are crazy. We are wild. We dance to the
tune of a single drummer – and that is ourselves. We are bound by our hearts.
Our hearts guide us through the boredom of routine. Yet, we clutch on to
routine – cuz it’s the only thing that keeps is sane. We realize – we are
borderlines. We have no limits. We realize that we are bound – and we try and
break free. We are restlessly, endlessly, struggling – to make ourselves
visible among a bunch of peas in a pod. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">We try and confirm. We try to convince
everyone that we are trying. We try to smile at people who we don’t really care
about – in the hope that we may be proved wrong by all those wise people in
society. We fear that our loved ones will die in the knowledge that they couldn't
do by us. We want them to be happy – but we also realize that we cannot lie to
ourselves. And in this anguish, we end up hurting ourselves. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Other people try being us. They copy our
attitudes, our hairstyles, our tattoos, our speech, our wild selves. They make
a poor show – they end up being self conceited assholes, who true to their own
nature, cannot care two hoots about another human. But the one thing they just
cannot copy – is us. We are unpredictable. We are insane. We have no limits. We
don’t care about what other people think. We respond to just a single judge –
the sound of our own conscience. We are just… us. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">We follow a different star. We have our own
standards – and no matter how illogical we sound, or how logical they do – we realize
its crap. Our standards are far above the average. We don’t do good deeds to
make ourselves (or people at the temple) happy. We don’t try to score brownie
points through good deeds. In fact – we try being our darker selves. We use our
darker selves as a camouflage.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">People are afraid of us. They are afraid of
our righteous voices. They can’t control us – because we don’t really care
about what people think. We know that we are right, and we plough on. That’s just
us.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">But what is it between us? Why can’t we see
each other? Why do I hurt you so much…. Why do I roller-blade your feelings? And
why do you use every single opportunity to hurt me with your indifference? Why do
you pull yourself away? Why cant you understand that I was sent here because I am
just like you? Why don’t you realize that we were meant to be? </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Why are we ignoring each other? Both of us together
could be formidable – we could rule the world. We could – because we are both exactly
alike – just the way god intended us to be. But why are we so scared? </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Who are we? If god intended us to be, why
are we holding back? </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">It is fear that is holding us back. The past
has not done anything to help us – instead, it holds us back.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">But I have faith --- the one thing the past
hasn't conquered.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">I don’t know if you have kept yours. But I
will pray for you, and for myself…. And for all that I think we withhold.</span></div>
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Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-60824984729481921492014-10-10T13:11:00.003-07:002015-04-11T00:07:50.939-07:00Being a man – not so easy in a woman’s world<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Believe it or not… it is true. This article is dedicated to all those
wonderful guys we know. They are our friends, colleagues, relatives – amazing,
sweet, loving guys who selfish bitches like ourselves always fail to recognize.
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being an independent, self reliant woman is really tough. All women in this category will agree. We struggle everywhere to make ourselves heard – at work,
at home, and everywhere else. We struggle, day and night. We watch as our
bosses readily take the same advice earlier given by ourselves from male
colleagues, we watch as male colleagues judge divorced women from other teams –
knowing fully well that the women are really sweethearts. We watch as they mess up
FB entries of women totally out of their league, and we watch as men on the
streets abuse their wives or daughters. We watch – and we grow angry. A
relentless, growing anger that is like a bottomless pit – there seems to be no
respite. And it is this anger which makes us summon up all of our defenses. An
anger so great, so strong, so vivid, that we completely forget that not all men
are jackasses.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am now talking about men who are struggling – to live in a world
full of women like ourselves. Men, who have to constantly battle our distrust.
Men, who realize that bimbos are not worth their time, that smart, independent are fantastic, men who even appreciate women and their achievements, who treat us as their
equals. Unfortunately, we never acknowledge them. These are your friends, your
brothers, your father, your colleagues – just look around you, they are
everywhere. Sweet, uncomplicated guys, whose lives we screw with in our anger.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are the men who truly
and honestly believe that there is absolutely no difference between themselves
and women (except of course, biologically). These are men, who understand
(vaguely, albeit), how annoying menstrual cramps can be, and exactly how we
feel when it comes to shopping, love, sweets, or babies. These are guys who are
sensitive to feelings, and although they may show it poorly – they do care.
These are the guys who will make complete fools of themselves just to see you
smile on a difficult day. The guys, who will hold your hand and tell you to not
worry when you are dying in pain. The guys, who will tell you funny stories
when you are low. Guys, who will tell you that you are wonderful, no matter how
badly you may have misbehaved. Guys, who will drive you home safely (without
acting condescending) when you are drunk out of your brains (even if they may
not support drinking). Men, who love you no matter what. Men, to whom you shall
always be a princess. Men, who will stick by you no matter what. You grow a
beard, have a child out of wedlock, have a tantrum and yell obscenities, give
up your job, lose yourself over heartbreak – it just doesn't matter. They will
be there for you.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But what do we do? We take these guys for granted. Even if there was
ONE stupid occasion when we called them and they couldn't answer or couldn't show
up – we put them in the “jackass” files. We completely forget all those times
when they were there for us. We think “Ah, he’s a guy. They are all the same”.
Thoughts like “Oh common, he’s human, he deserves a life, a second chance” are
generally reserved by us for idiots who have a record of ruining our lives with their chapters of jerk-itude. Why do
we think this way? Why can’t we reverse the treatment? What the hell is wrong
with us? Why do we behave like men with wonderful guys, and like pathetic
whining slobs with complete jerks?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are reading this, and if there is even one guy (or man)
coming into your brain, then count your blessings. There are a lot of women in
this world who have known nothing but rejection, pain and abandonment. There
are more women, who have lost people – people who couldn't handle their personalities
under certain circumstances. Count your blessings – if you have found even one.
This man is leading a difficult life. He loves, worships & adores you – and
his guy friends - the MCPs - probably think he is a weenie, at least as far as you are
concerned. However, it doesn't change his beliefs, or the way he thinks about
you. Prize him, love him, thank him, and don’t ever hurt him – cuz you can’t
afford to lose him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am very lucky – I have a lot of wonderful guys in my life. My dad,
my bro-in-law, some of my colleagues & my buddies – there are no words to describe
how much I love you all. Thank you for being you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You make me feel special.</span></div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-41974736531720799102014-08-12T10:03:00.002-07:002014-08-12T10:03:33.394-07:00The Voice of My Soul<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Today, I couldn’t stop thinking of an incident that had happened
when I was in 3<sup>rd</sup> grade. I had joined a new school the previous
year, and was still getting used to the fact that none of the kids around me
spoke Hindi. They could only talk in Telugu or broken English, and since I did
not know Telugu at all, I chose to speak to everyone in English. It made me
stand out, and as a result, I was the subject of scorn and ridicule. I hardly
had any friends, was constantly bullied, and was desperately trying to fit in. In
the midst of my misery, my house mistress decided to put in my name for the
Hindi poem recitation competition. My mother immediately jumped to my rescue –
she brought a poem from someone she knew and slaved all evening to help me to
recite it perfectly. Since I was blessed with a good memory, it took me very little
time to memorize the poem. My mother then spent the rest of the evening in helping
me practice the recitation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I went to school the next day. As the competition began, I was
terrified due to snide remarks from the other kids. Then I noticed that most of
the other kids who were participating were terrible. They had all memorized the
same poem – the first one in our Hindi text book, and were struggling to
remember and pronounce the words correctly. Some of them just shook their head
and went back to their seats. This elicited huge gales of laughter from all
other kids – I saw that most kids found the floundering kids pathetic, while
the ones who gave up were apparently, hilarious. So when it was my turn, I just
shook my head and went back to my seat. The judges (our impatient teachers) quickly
announced the winners, and made them come up to the front. I was shocked to see
the “winners” - they were actually terrible. But they had won prizes since they
were the only ones who could at least get through at least 2 verses of the
poem. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">After the results were announced, we broke for recess. Images filled
my mind. My mother spending her entire evening to teach me the poem, and to
help me practice. Images - in which, instead of acting like a stupid jerk, I
was confidently reciting my poem much better than anyone else who won. Images
of me – head raised, shoulders squared, smiling with the pride of a winner. I
broke into helpless sobs, and no matter how much the other kids or teachers
tried, I just could not be consoled. I cried endlessly the whole day until I
reached home. Shamefacedly, and till sobbing, I told my mother the whole thing as
I sobbed at the floor. I could not bring myself to look into her eyes and see
her disappointment in me. I did not understand my own feelings then, but the
guilt of wasting my mother’s efforts, of hiding my own talent, of letting my
mother & myself down, and of not having made use of the opportunity when I
had it was weighing very hard on my 8 year old conscience. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">My mother consoled me like no one else could – probably because she
could understand exactly how I felt, and what I needed at that moment. However,
that moment was definitely one of the most important ones of life – as I learnt
the most valuable lesson of all. That incident, among many others, helped me
become what I am today. The memory of this incident makes me seize every single
opportunity I get and give it my best shot today. This memory reminds me that
while it is definitely easier to blend among the crowd and be a part of it by
being mediocre, the worst insult I could ever give myself is to actually want
to act mediocre. Today, I don’t care at all about whether or not I fit in with
everyone else around me. I embrace my individuality, my own uniqueness, even if
it comes at a cost. Undermining my own worth is not something which my soul
will allow me to do. I strive to be the best at anything and everything I do – at
least, I give it an honest try. For, anything that I do should always be at the
best possible level to which my abilities allow me. If that makes me insanely
competitive, then so be it – because anything less would be the worst way in
which I could humiliate my own self. The voices of other people – be it of
praise or rejection – matters very little compared to the voice of my soul. This
is the only voice, the only opinion that really matters.</span></div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-79345123191064760922014-08-03T01:16:00.001-07:002014-08-03T01:16:25.634-07:00A Nap to Forget. The Strength in our Earth.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">Seems random? Not so much. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">Bored with non-fiction, I decided yesterday to go to my favorite
bookstore for some fun browsing and coffee. I was going through some books,
when I came upon a few titles in the Romance genre. I flipped through their
summaries – and many of them had a recurring theme. About an average young guy
or girl, and how cynical and normal their lives are. But when one of them contracts
a terminal illness, it transforms their personality and attitude. In some of
these books, the lead characters find their true love after they contract a
terminal illness, and it is this love which helps them fight all odds and rise
above the challenges. All of the books had one thing in common – it is only
after being faced with the possibility of death, do the lead characters realize
the true meaning and value of life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">Most people will feel that such books and movies are very touching,
and I know a lot of people who find themselves in tears. These stories are
indeed touching at times, because in real life, when a person is in the
horrible situation of being terminally ill or permanently injured, he or she
will find that life changes completely. Some of them are lucky, and survive
through their pain with terrific support from family or friends. Many others find
that most of their old friends start avoiding them and drift apart. Most people
are generally uncomfortable dealing with such situations, and don’t know what
to say when they happen. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">A lot of people with terminal illnesses, especially women, have also
reported that their spouses don’t give them the support they need, and
automatically assume the worst. Many women have been abandoned by their spouses
after being diagnosed with cancer. Their husbands feel that any time or money
spent on them is simply going to be wasted. Even if the doctors suggest
alternative courses of treatment which give some hope of survival, they feel
that it the bet is too risky, and pull out. Thus, they move away and try to
start a new life with healthier partners. So, to people who have been abandoned
by friends and family, these stories are indeed inspiring. These stories teach healthy
people what is expected of them when a loved one falls ill or gets permanently
injured. They give hope to people who are sick or injured – that someday, they
too will find the love and emotional support they need to embrace life and feel
the will to live.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">Personally, I absolutely, from the bottom of my heart, detest these
stories. I feel that they are incredibly stupid, unnecessarily soppy, and full
of shit, apart from being a little insensitive (unintentionally, of course). Firstly,
I feel that it is insensitive to romanticise a life threatening disease. I
mean, when I love someone – a friend, a spouse, a relative – anyone for that
matter, I love them for who they are. I try to make sure as much as possible
that they know exactly what I feel about them. If they need me, I will make
damn sure that I am there for them. If there is anything which I can do to make
them feel happy in any way, or if there is something I can do to help them
achieve their dreams, I would definitely do so. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">My point is – why wait until someone falls terminally ill to do
this? Is expressing your love really that difficult for you? If it is, then I
am sorry – but you probably don’t deserve to have such relationships at all. I
mean – that movie “A Walk to Remember” is considered to be a giant romantic
classic. But why? What if the girl did not have cancer? What if she was
perfectly normal? Would the guy have tried to fulfill her dreams any way? I don’t
think so. They would have probably dated for a while, but would have eventually
drifted apart. He wouldn’t have married her to fulfill her dream of being
married in her mother’s white dress. He wouldn’t have spent that much time
writing long sappy wedding vows. He would have probably never even felt so much
in love with her. They would have been just an average teenage couple whose
story, in all likelihood, would end at prom night. What I want to say here is –
is this really true love? Or is it just sympathy? Or some kind of psychosomatic
reaction to the fact that his girlfriend’s time was limited – like the way
kidnapping victims have Stockholm’s Syndrome? These stories may appear
extremely romantic – but reality is starkly different. Watching a loved one suffer
is living hell. Suffering from a terminal illness is physically and mentally
exhausting – these people rarely have the energy to go on world tours, wear
wedding gowns, have babies, or even feel anything at all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I believe that real love, true love – whatever you call it – is about
being there for someone at all times. I feel that if you really love someone,
you would do everything you can to make them feel wonderful every day, any day.
Taking someone for granted all the time and then suddenly getting all misty
eyed when you realize that they may leave you soon - is not love. While it is a
wonderful thing to be supportive and loving to a person who may or may not survive,
I feel that the movies and books of today forget the most essential point –
that love is unconditional, and that mere sympathy is not love. I don’t think
that love is so shallow – that its importance is only defined by the existence of
an expiration date. Somehow, over the years, we have become so preoccupied with
the notion of “I take you in sickness” that we have forgotten about the more
crucial “I take you in health” part. Life is indeed short – and it would do us
a whole world of good to embrace the fact as soon as possible. We all need to
get over ourselves, and learn to love with an open heart and mind. </span></div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-8378228825883612362014-07-20T07:32:00.005-07:002014-07-20T07:32:47.367-07:00The Door to Happiness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I have heard of people constantly going on about their search for
the “One”. About how it is better to end up with somebody, because the
alternate is to be completely alone for the rest of one’s life. And thus, the
race begins. For women, this quest begins at the age of 4 or 5. All fairytales preach
this exact thing – the ultimate goal is to find that perfect someone and live
happily ever after.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">Some very brave people asked the question – “What if we don’t find
anyone? What happens then?” History says that such questions have been met with
incredulity, sternness and more often than not – ridicule. The immediate
answers to this question would be “Oh dear! You cannot say that! You have to
find someone!” or “You don’t want to wind up all alone” or “Would you like to
die knowing that there will be no one to mourn you?” And then these brave people
are left speechless. As per popular opinion – the speechlessness is a result of
self-doubt and disbelief. It is the result of feeling not being quite sure of
what to say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">People – gear up. It’s the digital age. It is perfectly fine – to
not have found a soulmate. It is perfectly fine, to want to live life on one’s
own terms rather than compromise to the extent of losing one’s identity. After all,
in today’s world, “Happily ever after” is very hard to find. Mostly, its “compromise
and keep adjusting”, or “end up divorced”. I am not ridiculing the idea of love
& marriage – some people do find a love that matures over time. People do
find lasting companionship – the right mix of passion, friendship and trust.
Some others settle for what is available, and find happiness within their
circle of influence. They work hard at their relationships, and even if the
love loses some of its sparkle over time, they compromise and create a
situation for themselves that they are comfortable in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">But what about some others who are not willing to give up? For some,
“settling” isn’t a very good option – these are the people who know exactly
what they want. And they realize, that they are not willing to settle for
anything but dazzles. Society might say that these people are being unrealistic,
and that over time, even the greatest, most dazzling love loses some of the
sparkle. Logically – society does have a point. Would Romeo and Juliet continue
to love each other with their blinding passion if they hadn’t died tragically?
Would Cleopatra and Anthony still have the same fiery passion if their love
story had ended with marriage and kids? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I now put forth my argument – is it really wrong to expect nothing
but the best? Are the IIT aspirants in our country crazy for spending much of
their childhood in cramming textbooks? Are the casting directors of movies
completely nuts for spending months over finding the right actor to play an important
role? Were Picasso and Monet insane for spending sleepless nights to get every
brushstroke right? Just like these people, are certain singles wrong for expecting
nothing but the best? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">In today’s world, there is a new breed of people. I call these
people “steadfast singles”. These people realize that their life is fantastic
the way it is. They have wonderful friends and family, and great jobs. They are
extremely passionate about everything that they do, and have plenty of hobbies
that take up all of their free time. These people never feel old – they only
feel wiser and better as they grow older. They have wonderful lives, and are
perfectly happy in being alone. They dislike being in relationships, because
relationships take up too much of their time and energy – which they would
rather devote towards their careers or hobbies. There are plenty of successful
people in the world who have led wonderful lives without having to settle.
There are also plenty of not very successful, but happy middle aged people who
are single (either chronic bachelors or divorced) with exciting lives and/or a
sense of inner peace.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">They say that when one door closes, another opens. I believe that if
one door closes, 5 or even 10 other doors open – providing we are willing to keep
our eyes open to them, and not just lament about the door that’s closed. When
steadfast singles shut the door on the experiences of marriage and parenthood, it
is not necessary that misery and loneliness has to follow. They have, in fact, opened
their minds to the other wonderful things that life has to offer. They explore
the doors to wonderful friendships, great fitness, spiritual awareness,
satisfying careers, and extraordinary adventures. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I would like to say something here to people who snort in derision to
the idea of being a steadfast single. We have no control over our futures. We
can’t change the past. We only have the present, and the present is wonderful –
if we choose to see it that way. The digital world has opened a new freedom
movement in society – and the entire point of the new movement is to respect individual
choices. It is our choice to decide - whether to take the plunge and settle for
the next person we find, or to take life as it comes and turn each day into an
exciting opportunity. Rather than insisting that “Happily ever after” is the
ultimate goal, we should accept the fact that “Being happy each day” is also a great
choice. </span></div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-14487781049202454372014-07-12T10:30:00.006-07:002014-07-12T10:31:14.257-07:00Reflections<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
There are a few things about which our feelings just don’t change.
As we move on through life, we often go through several drastic changes in our
own personalities. I, for instance, wouldn’t even recognize “college me”. And “college
me” would think that I am a split personality between being a total nutcase and
an Indian Martha Stewart. Come to think of it, college me wouldn’t recognize the
woman writing this blog, or for that matter, even know who Martha Stewart is!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">One of these things for me is moonlight. I have always, always been
a sucker for the moon. There is something so beautiful, so pure, so magical,
about it that it always calms me down and makes me feel special. There are a
few moonlit nights which I distinctly remember – the “Id ka Chaand” during the
Ramzan festivals, the beautiful full moon on a late night drive when I was
returning from a college concert, the silvery orb that hung slightly above the
office building one particularly tiring night when I left office late, the
dripping line of silver from the mystic, cat’s eye like moon in Goa, the
shimmering night when my dog died – covered with wounds, my tears and moonlight.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">When I had first moved to Mumbai, I hated it. Mumbai was crowded, humid
and extremely uncomfortable. I was extremely rattled to find that I had left
the comforts of home to move into a city which kicked my ass almost every day. Just
when I was feeling homesick – I saw the city bathed in the silvery moonlight –
and I fell in love. The moonlight showed me what daylight hadn’t – that Mumbai
was a city with a heart of its own. Over the years, my own heartbeat has got in
sync with the city’s - and there is nothing I love more (except reading and
doughnuts). The moon showed me that night - how much the city was a reflection
of my soul. That reflection was something which could only be seen in a divine,
pure, unaffected light – like the moonlight.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I believe the main reason why I love the moon is because I connect
with it. The moon is never the same always – it waxes and wanes, it changes
shape. I am extremely sure that whenever I saw a full moon, there seemed to be
something different about it since when I last saw it. It appears as though the
moon has its moods. When it’s happy – it shines silvery, illuminating
everything on the earth. When it is thoughtful or pensive – it appears faded
and mystical… and melts through the dark clouds surrounding it. It is as if
even though the moon is aware of her feelings, she knows it is her job to shine
on – and she braves through the dark clouds that threaten to envelope her. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">She waxes and wanes – but that is only for us to appreciate her full
value more. If we saw her in her completeness every day, we probably would have
ended up taking her for granted. She reminds us that like her, life comes in a
cycle. It may seem as though happiness is fading – but it is sure to return in
time. It may seem as if life is getting better and better – but like the waxing
moon, it is destined to reach a peak and then fade. The moon reminds us to be
hopeful when everything is hopeless, and to be humble when everything seems to
be wonderful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I write this as I gaze out of my bedroom window. I realize that
while I live in an area flooded with streetlights, and other white light coming
from homes, I can always make out moonlight – it is silvery, it is serene, it is
natural – and it is beautiful. It’s a presence – a reflection, an awareness of
divinity. Like an angel gently slipping her warm hand in mine.</span></div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-69985303952669513262014-07-05T10:25:00.004-07:002014-07-05T10:25:36.171-07:00You are so full of shit – aren't you?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
This article is dedicated to all the judgmental people out there. Hate
you guys …. You suck!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">This is the first time I have actually ever acknowledged their
presence. Mostly, I pretend that they don’t exist. I treat such voices
ultrasonic, such expressions faceless, and basically - to me, the space
containing them is empty. They don’t deserve my time and attention - I, unlike
them, HAVE a life. However, this article isn’t about turning the tables and
judging them. No – I was recently faced with the unpleasant reality that while
some people like me are able to ignore these morons, others can’t. And one such
person was a friend of mine who was deeply hurt by someone’s very insensitive
remarks. Thus, this article is for my friend – and all those of you who have
fallen victim at some point to such unnecessary acid behavior. I will now start
addressing all the judgmental people out there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">You walk around with hate and bitterness in your heart. You voice
your opinions to anyone and everyone who will listen. As per the opinions of
your cronies and you, the happy-go-lucky single girl is a leper. You will tell
her and everyone else that she is a slut, and that while she can party and have
fun with “strange boys” as long as she is young, she is headed towards disaster
because she will one day be all alone. Strangely enough – you don’t say this to
single men, unless they are in a financially better position than you/your
husband/son/etc. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">As per you, the young boys or girls who live in the flat above yours
are nuisances who ought to be arrested. You think that Kareena Kapoor and Rihanna
are big time sluts. No doubt, you would have read with glee any gossip on a
tabloid which says horrible things about them. If like Nafisa Joseph, any of
them fall victim to misfortune, instead of pitying them, you tell everyone “I
always knew, that person was always trouble”. However, if you happen to accidentally
meet them somewhere (you certainly are not among those people who would meet
them on a regular basis), you wouldn't think twice before greedily begging for
an autograph, or hassling them for a selfie.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">You think that successful men always have double dealings with the
mafia and are selfish. You think that teenagers ought to be “seen, but never
heard”. You think that books and media these days are full of “unsavory stuff”,
and completely enjoy the censor board’s annoying messages and forced edits on
movies and serials. You think that your neighbors' kids who are studying in US
are becoming “uncultured” (unless your own live abroad as well). You think that
your colleague’s son is having an affair, and that other people’s daughters are
sluts (unless they resemble yours in any aspect). You believe that your female
colleague who just got promoted has been sleeping with the bosses, and your
male colleague who got promoted is a kiss-ass. You feel that divorced people
have serious mental or sexual issues. You think that rape victims deserve what
they got. The list is endless.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">But let’s think really hard – in this list, is anyone your friend? The
real reason why you feel this way is because in the bottom of your heart, you realize
that you are nothing. You have no special talent, you have absolutely no charm,
and are completely boring. Probably, you even think that your own kids or
spouse are unremarkable. You cannot even have a full conversation with anyone,
because you can’t think of anything to say. You are facing serious insecurity
issues with members of your immediate family, and bitterly realize that you don’t
have the capability of changing your life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">Thus, you have no friends, and are completely alone. Being devoid of
talent or personality, you develop idiosyncrasies or heavy opinions on popular
people – because you think that it will make you stand out, and protect you
from letting other people know the truth about you. The truth which you desperately
wish you could change – that you and/or your family are completely
unremarkable, boring and below average.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">Do realize – people are not fools. We see right through you. Just
because we tolerate you doesn't mean that we don’t. Maybe it doesn’t really
matter to you – but your behavior is probably affecting your immediate family
in a very negative way. While they are not our problem, do take this as a
warning – DO NOT underestimate us, and learn to behave. If you cannot accept
yourself or others, at least learn to keep your trap shut. There may be a few
simple, innocent people who get temporarily fazed by what you tell them. Just
remember – there will always be strong, powerful cynics like us who are everywhere.
We will help your victims as well as every person you associate with on a daily
basis to realize the truth – that you are full of shit. Don’t worry – we will
never harm you physically. We just pity you – being in your head, your ego,
your shoes for that matter - is the modern equivalent of inferno.</span></div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-18116292871959198782014-06-28T09:49:00.001-07:002014-06-28T09:49:24.761-07:00Daddy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
He was, and always will be, my first love. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
He held me when I was
little, and played ridiculous, humiliating games of pretending to be farm
animals only to see me laugh. He hugged me, and protected me when I got scared of nightmares. He sang me lullabies, and helped me sleep when I couldnt. He pretended he couldn’t see me and made me felt wanted, needed by yelling “Oh
my God, where did she go??” during Hide & Seek (although I was in plain
sight. I used to stand behind the door and close my eyes, and think I was
invisible). His voice would make me cackle at first, because he couldn’t find
me. And after a few seconds, I would go rushing out to him because even at that
age, I did not want him to worry. His trips abroad made me feel lonely. And
when he would return, I would burst into tears – tears containing all those
feelings I had bottled up inside me when he was gone, tears that wouldn’t stop
because I had missed him so. I used to feel so possessive of his love, that I couldn’t
bear it if new guests who had entered our home spoke to him, or even looked at
him. Everybody had to win my approval first.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">When I was eight, and was laughed at by everyone at school for having
buck teeth, he was the one who told me I would win the Miss Universe title one
day. When I stood second in class, he pushed me further, saying that I was his
girl and that I would do him proud. And each time, no matter what place I stood at, he brought me chocolates, and proudly told everybody he knew that his daughter was a genius. When I bled from cuts and scrapes, he would
put ointment on my wounds and hold me tight to make me feel safe. When I was
punished by mom for being naughty, he would make me laugh and give me the
strength to feel better again. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">When I got sick, he carried me over his shoulder
and made sure that doctors give me their undivided attention. When I got into
fights with bullying boys at school, and got into trouble with teachers, he
would patiently hear my side of the story, and then defend me to the school
administration. He gave me the strength to believe in myself. He taught me my
worth, and stood by me through every hopeless breakup with boyfriends.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">To me, he will always be my hero. Throughout the years, we have had
our share of tiffs and disagreements. But I will always love him fiercely, and
to me, he will always be the ideal man. Today, whenever I face criticism for
being too independent and for not behaving like a damsel in distress, I feel my
Baba standing next to me as I tell them to go to hell, because I know that I am
right. When I speak up against injustice, or wrong-ness, I feel a voice in my head - Baba's voice - that I am doing the right thing. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">When I help people I don’t even know, it’s because of
my Baba – the person to whom everybody would always go to when in need of help.
When I feel frustrated, and have this crazy desire to just quit, I hear my Baba
telling me – You are stronger than that! You are my kid! And when I see other
girls whose fathers try to control every aspect of their lives – be it career
or love – I feel angry. Angry, because I don’t understand. And I don’t really
understand – because my Baba had never, ever stopped me from following my heart
and my dreams.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I love you Baba. Thank you for being so wonderful. Thank you for
teaching me my worth, and to know the difference between real men, and jerks. Thank
you for loving me so much, and at the same time, to let me be free. I love you
more than words can say. You & mom are the greatest loves of my life, and my
best assets.</span></div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-55733564815212078042014-06-14T10:30:00.001-07:002014-06-14T10:30:10.794-07:00The Divine Meter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">Dealing with pain is one of the hardest things in the world. While
physical pain does have remedies – pain… when emotional, is certainly, one of
the most difficult challenges ever faced by modern man & woman. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">A very famous and wise person had once quoted “No one will ever
understand you unless they go through the same pain”. This is perhaps, one of
the simplest, and yet, most understated quotes every said. When we look around
us, we see that everybody – man or woman is in some kind of emotional upheaval.
Sure, the intensity may differ – while for some it may be a minor itch, for
others, it feels like an abyss from which there is no return. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">But it is there. Look at the quiet bespectacled girl quietly typing
away at her desk. To you, she may seem the epitome of stolidity. However, deep
inside she may be suffering from loneliness, an unhappy marriage, in-law
troubles, or low self esteem which is unaided by the fact that her husband is
having an affair. Your friend’s boss – about whose bitchiness your friend can
never stop complaining – might be suffering from the pain caused by a
rebellious child who has taken to bad company and whose grades are slipping
each day. The fact that she also has to work for the sake of her own career not
only gives her a headache, but also sends her on guilt trips. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">So how do people cope with pain? For some who are lucky – family and
friends offer a solid support and relief. Talking things out with those who
understand you and love you – no matter what – can be like the nectar of life. Some
others are equipped with the god given gift of compartmentalization. Such
people lock away their pain in a little box at the back of their mind, and
instead devote themselves wholly to other outlets – such as work or exercise. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">The rest of us, who are not as lucky or as good at compartmentalization,
go through trauma. No matter how hard we try, pain keeps attacking us over and
over again – like a sadist who waits for his victim to recover a bit. Just when
he starts to believe that the torture might be over – the sadist gives yet
another round of agony. Pangs of pain – gut wrenching, stomach clinching, mind
numbing, and heart snagging emotions - attack us when we are least expecting it.
It could after a spa session, while waiting for the train, after lunch time,
after a few drinks, between just waking to the point of being completely awake.
And when it hits – we feel powerless. Hopeless. We feel like drowning victims
who after a point of struggling futilely, realize that it’s better to just
accept the situation and let the water take us under.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">I am trying an experiment these days to deal with tough situations.
I have accepted that life cannot be perfect – that there will always be ups and
downs. Instead of viewing it as a sadist hell bent on torture, I view such pain
causing events as a divine emotional rating meter. Just like seasons – a scorching
summer is the only way people can truly appreciate the value of torrential
rains. Thus, if we couldn’t ever feel pain, maybe we would never truly be able
to appreciate the value of true happiness. So, I thank god with all my heart.
Giving us pain is probably his way of reminding us that good things in life –
like family, best friends, solitude, sound health, love – are truly divine
gifts, and should be appreciated from the bottom of the heart. And so, with the
knowledge that feeling pain is an indication – a preparation to be able to appreciate
wonderful things in life, I rest down my pen.</span></div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-57639706898647692642013-07-27T10:49:00.000-07:002013-07-27T10:50:20.174-07:00To you my love.......... <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
To you, with all my love<br />
<br />
<br />
I dont know who I am<br />
I dont know where I am going<br />
I dont know what I can<br />
Do... for this is where I am rowing<br />
<br />
All i know is that I miss you,<br />
And all i really want is a sign<br />
All I really know is love is true,<br />
All I really know is that you are mine<br />
<br />
But why is life so complicated?<br />
Why do we stand test to the sands of time?<br />
Why isn't happiness for each fated?<br />
Why is it taking you so long to be mine?<br />
<br />
If love is true, I shall wait,<br />
Wait until you are ready,<br />
Ready to see that I am not someone you hate,<br />
To understand that I can be steady<br />
<br />
I understand.... i am a wild horse<br />
Untamed, Unpredictable, Unruly,<br />
But as love takes its course....<br />
You will realize.... i do love you... truly<br />
<br />
Some say that love is a pain...<br />
Takes away all your focus<br />
But these people only look for gain,<br />
While love is really.... about us<br />
<br />
For everytime I look at you,<br />
All i ever feel is the truth....<br />
An everything I do for you,<br />
I only aim to sooth<br />
<br />
Your heart... your bleeding soul,<br />
To others you may appear heartless,<br />
My mind tells me that the others have got you whole,<br />
But to me... you are my prince... regardless<br />
<br />
For you I wait my love...<br />
My everlasting, my only.... love<br />
It is only you I love,<br />
It is only you who brings to me..... the real meaning of love!<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-9546398898961618892013-02-09T12:30:00.002-08:002013-02-09T12:30:58.971-08:00Maya - 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Who are you really? The question never really hits you until its a little late. You have been leading a happy go lucky life for a very long time now..... and you have come to terms with life. You realise that life isn't always rosy.... that you cant always get what you want. And you accept this.... this is a truth of life that you have accepted. <br />
<br />
Unfortunately.... the bliss of singledom.......... this state of perfection.... isn't forever. Sooner or later... usually sooner.... things change. And that's when you realise..... you have outgrown the joys that singledom has to offer. You start realising that although mentally you still want the same things..... emotionally.... you have grown older. And suddenly..... you don't feel 18 anymore.<br />
<br />
"Got ma first real six strings.... bought it at a five & dime,<br />
Played it until my fingers bled..... Was the summer of '69"<br />
<br />
Those were indeed the best days of my life. That is what I will feel on retrospect.... when I look back into life. These are the best years of my life. Friends, love.... career..... family..... peace of mind... I have it all. <br />
<br />
But Whose gonna be there for me when its gone? Whose gonna make me feel this way again??? Eveeryone I know.... are getting into commitments. I know that my friends will always love me. But their spouses.... well.. that's a whole diff story. A story with new shades & colours. And I so love the shades the way they are................ I cant love anything else. I cannot love anything more. I cannot accept either that this is what they call "Maya".... an Illusion. That this is a magical time which has an expiry date.<br />
<br />
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-39573778022956712802013-01-30T09:54:00.001-08:002013-01-30T09:55:01.132-08:00A Wish<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Mom always says that there are 2 kinds of people in the world. The first kind are the givers - the people who always give - love, help, friendship & care - to people around them. The second kind are the takers - the ones who only keep taking stuff - materials, time, love, feelings - from as many people as possible, and still want more. The givers are the people who somehow, can just not stop caring. And the takers are the ones who will just not care.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Today, I am reminded of one of my favorite lines from the classic "Gone with the wind". The scene depicts Scarlett O Hara, watching her family members bustle in excitement & cheerfulness as they cut up her mother's old curtains to make her a dress. She alone knows in her mind, the devious plot she has hatched, for which she needed the dress. She knew that what she planned to do was entirely shocking, and was something her dead mother would feel very ashamed about. She realized that in order to survive, and to ensure the safety of her dead father's property & the well being of her remaining family, she was going to do something which she would have probably never even thought about, if the war had not changed the world. She realized, that she had indeed, changed. Her core values, her morals had changed. But the people she cared about - the people for whom she had had to change, were still exactly the same people they were before the war. They could still afford to be themselves, and believe in the old values of the past, values which she was taught and values which she had prided herself for, because she had changed for them. And this was not something they realized. The irony was that if they had any idea what her plans were, they would be shocked, and would judge her to no end. But she had to do it - because if she did not, they would never survive. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am among the people who care too much. I wish I did not. There is no point really - in a world like today's - who really cares? No one gives a shit about anyone - no matter what happens. People forget their so called "best friend's" birthday, and don't bother disrupting their daily life even a little, because for them, their comfort zone is too important. I care, and so I decided to take the effort, because someone had to. And now, I am going to be judged - just because I asked people to step out of their comfort zones - just a little. But if I stopped caring, if I too continued behaving like everyone else, then there would be nothing left. But is this something which people realise? No they don't. They don't realise that they can all remain in their comfort zones & gossip & judge me, because I am the one keeping all of them together.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Maybe the fault lies with me. It is not necessary to care so much. Why should I spoil my relationships with people, & fight for others when I know perfectly well that its of absolutely no use? I wish I knew the answer. I wish.. I knew why even after millions of experiences why I continue to care, why I cant become like the others. I wish I knew why I was such a masochist. I wish I could just not bother, and stop caring. I wish the pain would go away - a pain that has become all to familiar now. I wish I could just continue being merry & make politically correct statements whenever it mattered, and all the time ensuring that I don't have to even lift a single finger to help anyone.</div>
</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-45021007398616178152013-01-05T09:37:00.003-08:002013-01-05T09:59:47.443-08:00Cultural Dilution<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had a long hard day. In fact, I had a long hard week, although, my week had started on Wednesday, when I got back to work from a great holiday. Over the last few weeks, I have had a lot of interesting conversations with friends, family & colleagues. All of their views have got me thinking on the subject - What is right & What is Wrong?<br />
<br />
Ours is a society which is based on ancient tradition. This ancient tradition, over the years, changed several shades due to political & cultural influences froun invaders across the world. Now, our old, glorious tradition is almost lost - and all that remains is a half hazard, confused concoction which no one can really connect to. You may meet several people during the day who are very religious & culture conscious - they diligently offer prayers in their place of religion, they observe various traditions, give/take dowry as per their own sect's custom, arrange for ridiculously expensive weddings which could explain the reason why most western nations dont regard Indian poverty very seriously, and frown upon women who are "forward". Yet - when you have an in depth conversation with them about their customs, and delve deeper into their thoughts to understand why they stand by their traditions - they dont really have a satisfying answer. A satisfying answer would be either a logical one - giving a firm reason to why such and such activity should be performed due to x,y,z effects over society or oneself - or would simply be that believing gives them faith, and faith gives them strength to forbear the hardships of life.<br />
<br />
But no - all you get are confused arguments, and hurriedly ended conversations. The main reason is that most people in our country do what they do simply because they have been programmed that way. This would also explain, the brutal rape case in Delhi. Dont get me wrong - women in our country have been raped continuously since forever. However, this particular case is particularly heart wrenching, simply because the nerve of the culprits has shaken everyone to their bone.<br />
<br />
Somehow - I dont quiet digest the uproar. In ancient India, women were revered, respected & had an equal place in society. Hinduism is probably, one of the few religions in the world which have an equal number of male & female dieties. Some of the female dieties are in fact, considered to be more powerful under given circumstances than their male counterparts. The reason for all these values is the dilution of culture. And by culture - I dont mean religions. No religion on the planet encourages rape, torture & murder. Every religion preaches love, respect & mutual harmony. The cultural dilution happened because most of the outsiders who settled here were barbarians, conquerers, who used various techniques to break the steady harmony in this great land, divide its people, create differences & confusion & corrupt minds - to rule.<br />
<br />
What we should remember is that we are no more ruled by barbarians. However, their dirty imprints still remain. The judicial system in India is now so complicated, that even for a terrorist like Kasab, who was seen killing & murdering hundreds of innocent people with great pleasure on camera in national television, the decision of capital punishment was given after 5 long years of trails & appeals. In India, the cultural dilution has become so intense, that a woman's safety, which was once considered one of the sacred dharmas for men, has now become a public joke. The wonderful constitution of India, does not consider rape to be worthy of capital punishment, or even life long imprisonment. Additionally, marital rape & forced anal or oral penetration is not even classified as rape. Punishments pertaining to molestation & other forms of assault are embarrasing, to say the least. <br />
<br />
Even if there is complete evidence of the crime being committed, the court can take at least 4-5 years to reach a decision. And even if the court does take the right decision, "Human Rights" organisations spring out of nowhere demanding that the accused be let free, as he as already served the requisite number of years while awaiting trail. Politicians involve their dirty shit, making things murkier. Media takes things to even lower levels, by constantly flashing pictures of the victims & their family, while considerately protecting the accused. All the ruckus goes on for a few days - maybe a few weeks, and then people move on. After all, everyone has jobs to do, lives to live, & families to feed. The media move on to a new scandal, and life goes on.<br />
<br />
So as ordinary citizens, as ordinary female citizens, what can we do? I would love to fight for the girl - see to it that all the culprits are publicly tortured & killed - only after they beg for mercy. But I am only one person. It feels very nice to say that one person can make a difference- blah, blah. Fuck that shit. The truth is that practically, I feel useless & helpless. I know that the real problem is the culture dilution - and its effects. The way our society is. The way it treats educated, ambitious, frank & free spirited women. The way eve teasers are considered adorable - watch the new ad with the cricketer teaching his pals how to hit on gals. I know that I alone cannot change the country in one day.<br />
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Thus, I will pray. I still believe in God. My roots have always taught me that God acts in mysterious, but sure shot ways. I pray to the lord to have pity on the poor girl, on her parents, on other helpless women like her in this country who are constantly under the fear of attack. I pray to God to let me live to see the day when parents bid their daughters good bye each morning without worrying about their safety. I pray to God to let that glorious age return once more, when men & women mutually respected one another, and worked hard towards common goals rather than demonise themselves as well as society with corrupt thoughts of lust, control & power.</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-87966680181294036092012-12-22T10:26:00.001-08:002012-12-23T02:02:47.256-08:00P.S. - I will always love you<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
True love - the one elusive question that makes us all wonder. Some of us ..... who are fortunate ..... end dying in the arms of our beloved.<br />
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Let me define beloved here ......... its the one person who truly makes our heart beat.Listening to their voice makes us feel like we are a totally different person. When you talk to your beloved - every other problem in life - be it financial... be it professional.... just sherds apart. All you can hear is his wonderful, comforting voice.... and all you can think about is how much you want to be with him. He is the one who your world revolves around. When he is with you..... you feel complete.... you feel wonderful.... you feel... like your existance in this hot, flat, crowded earth is justified. You feel like you can fight the world and return undefeated. You realise that without him.... life is meaningless.... and that he is who defines you... soul, mind & body.<br />
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The order is important. This is not some stupid, teenage crush that will just come and go. You have just realised.... that this man is your soulmate. You dont wanna live life with anyone else.... because life with the "ONE" doesnt seem scary. You can open up to him, be your neurotic self with him... and still find him snoring blissfully next to you in the morning. He wont "run away" because your passion scares him... he wont run away because your past scares him.... all he knows is that he loves you... and that he cant live without you.<br />
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Why is the world so cold? Why does the whole world have to be involved when 2 people are in love?? why cant they realise that they have no business being involved... that it isnt their lives?<br />
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Unfotunately...... he cares. He doesnt want to... but thats just the way it is. And you cannot blame him for wanting to do things right.... because he wants more than love.... he wants to build a life. Plus, he has his morals. He would never wanna hurt ppl who are close to him.... and esp you.... cuz he knows what you have been through..........and he doesnt wanna be added on to the list of people who have hurt you & scarred you.<br />
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This is eactly the reason why good couples never get far. It is this goddammned fear that makes life a living hell. The point is that when you know that you are right.... when you know what your heart is telling you... you can never be wrong. And when your heart is never wrong... you dont have to worry about anything else. Fear is the worst enemy. It makes you underestimate yousrself... makes you doubt your own capabilities.... makes you feel dull, dark and depressed because it makes you feel completely & utterly helpless.<br />
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Be brave. Courage is one of the most important virtutes. What is even more important than courage is the ability to understand the direction in which your heart is pointing you. Listen to your heart.... for your heart is innocent...and only knows what is right. The heart is never wrong... and as long as you follow your heart.... you will always be happy... and the people around you shall always be happy because you continue spreading the joy there is in your heart.</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-79205181620239735432011-11-13T00:13:00.000-08:002011-11-13T00:25:34.107-08:00In the Quest for Perfection<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Life is wierd. It tries its best at first, to show you that there can be more to it. You dont want to believe - you are not really interested. There is work to be done, and responsibilities to be shouldered. But life keeps pushing all its beautiful things right in your face. And you cannot help but notice. The warm look in your friend's face - when he gently insists that its late and that you should be dropped home. You try and resist - you are after all a big girl, and you can manage. You have always managed in the past, and there is no sense in believing now that things are different. But then you look in his eyes, and realise that you should just let go - it would make him so happy. You give in.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">There are many other such things - which life keeps pushing. The beauty of the full moon, hidden in clouds. The sound of the sea in mild tide. The sudden wind blowing your hair gently on a humid evening. The fragnance of roses from the flower shop on the way to the station. The gentle warmth of the sun after battling through meetings in the heavily air conditioned office. The fullness and perfectness of the magenta sun as it gives its last rays of light before it moves on to the other side of the world. The mischievous grin on your neighbour's son as he sneaks in through your door to retrieve his ball. These are a few things which you just cant resist - they make you feel human.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But then - just when you start believing that your life is perfect, and you have made your peace with the fact that you are destined to live in a particular way - life starts bitching. It then takes such a marvellous hair pin turn, that you start spinning out of control. Suddenly - its not so perfect anymore. And you are left feeling confused.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I saw "Rockstar" recently. Definitely not one of the best movies - it was overly long, and they could have easily ended the movie perfectly an hour in advance, instead of dragging it endlessly to infinite boredom. Sometimes, you just cant help thinking that Bollywood movie directors are either complete fools, or are just plain sadists. They just dont realise that people - their target audience are a tired, tired bunch, who at the end of a long week just dont have the patience to appreciate BS.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">But the music was simply amazing. And they managed to show one thing perfectly - that the perfect love story simply cannot exist. When 2 people are in love, any one of the scenarios will happen. 1. They end up together, but eventually break off. 2. Society's rules doesnt let them stay together. There will be angry parents, dozens of rules, things like caste, religion, war, etc stopping them from being happy together. and 3. Everything works out - society just gives up being its bitchy self, and accepts that nothing can stop the 2 of them from being together. And then, one of them dies.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Some people may argue that perfect loves stories do exist, and this is just what they show in movies. But believe me - I have seen a lot of life, and surely, at least one of the 3 things happen. The whole question is - when does one give up?? The practical ones just give up, and settle for things which are less than perfect. The idealists ..... what happens to them?? And when they reach the point when they just cant take heartbreaks anymore - what do they do????</div></div>Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-36417238275646268472011-10-09T04:28:00.001-07:002011-10-09T04:28:35.496-07:00Emptiness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Feeling alone and miserable is a familiar feeling. You feel this way generally when you have lost something really important in life. It could be your job, someone you loved, a relationship, a friendship, anything. At these times, they say that the best thing to do is to keep a brave heart, and introspect. Even better, try and spend time with someone totally unrelated to your own tragedy. Keeping your mind occupied on other, simpler things eases the pain. Soon, you start feeling more normal again. The pain which you felt before from your loss lessens. You feel as though it was all a part of a distant dream – something that happened several million years ago. You think about yourself as a person now and then, and then realise – exactly how much you have changed.<br />
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But then it happens again. And again. Several times. Fate plunges its knife at you several times, like a serial killer gone completely psychotic. You keep telling yourself – This time, I have learned. Like Eminem – you firmly vow – There will be a No next time. Unfortunately, real life isn’t like the Simpsons. It isn’t a show where someone will read the moral of the story, and you move on. Real life is a lot more complicated than that. You end up becoming a victim – helpless, defenceless, and wounded.<br />
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But what is the end product of this mess? You start feeling completely empty. This is the price your soul pays after your dignity has been attacked – not once, but several times. You lead a normal life as per social norms – you meet up with people, you go to work, you party, read – do all the stuff which a normal happy person usually does. But deep down inside, you know that it really isn’t you. Your heart is just not in it. You realise that every single word out of your mouth is purely mechanical – you feel like a robot which has been specially programmed to behave human. Someone cries – you offer sympathy. Someone laughs – you laugh with them. You have a one night stand with some random guy – you smile and say goodbye. But you know that deep down inside, you don’t feel a thing. <br />
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But there is always hope. And this is the magic of life. It takes a hit at you yet again – but from a completely different side. And when it does, instead of feeling miserable and angry – or even empty – you actually feel wonderful. Because the hurt that you feel, the pain that makes you well up – makes you realise that you are not completely stone. There are still feelings left in you – there is still something. And this is the something that you have to hang on to.<br />
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Maybe you will not get exactly what you wanted. Maybe you will not get where you wanted to be, in the time that you expected. But you gotta realise – life is a huge gamble. You play right, you win. And the key to playing right, is to trust your own instincts. And if you lose – well, you have to survive that. <br />
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</div>Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-79571132208279948542011-10-09T04:26:00.000-07:002011-10-09T04:26:51.490-07:00The Gamble that is Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Nah, this isnt about a dog. Its not even as serious as it sounds... nobody died, and so if you are expecting something dead serious, then you can think again. <br />
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Its just that sometimes... Well, most of the time, life is a real bitch. It gives you a whole new world.. it makes you feel as though you rule. But then, it takes it all away. You suddenly find someday that you have been living in a dream, and that everything is not what it seems. Its like - the joke's on you, and you never knew it all along.<br />
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There are a lot of movies about love, and life. That whole thing about finding yourself, and who you are, and then finding true love, and knowing yourself enough to say that it is what you really want - well, in my opinions its all crap. Thats because most of these movies only tell you the good stuff that makes you believes things which are statistically improbable. They conviniently leave out all those little things which really defines life or relationships. Smart n confused boy/gal oneday suddenly gets it all - career, life, social status and love, because of some event that occurs in the movie. There are also a lot of movies that tell you to be courageous - to kiss slowly, confess quickly, laugh loudly, and love truly. They dont however, tell you how to deal with times when you feel as though your life is an abyss - like its stuck at one point, and no matter how much you try, you just cant move past.<br />
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But here is what I feel. I feel that its not about "finding courage". Its more like "taking the gamble". Its all very easy to believe all the crap that movies,songs and books throw out at you, not to mention all the gyaan you recieve from various people around you - well wishers of course. But when what you fear the most happens, when you lose the person you love the most because you believed a bit too much, or too soon, then you find yourself all alone. You dont really wanna be with any of those well wishers, and you only feel like screaming when you see movies, or read romance novels. And you dont even want to be with your friends - because although they are concerned about your sadness, they dont really get it. And there are certain things, which no one can ever tell or advise you. FOr instance, no one can tell you what to do when you feel desparate. No one tells you how to deal with gnawing feelings of loss, and how to shut that stupid voice in your head, which keeps reminding you of the way the whole situation started - because of your own impromptu decision. No one can tell you what to do or how to make yourself feel better when a voice in your head keeps saying over and over again - This is your own fault. <br />
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So basically, you come to the conclusion that it is useless to even believe that there is something called as the "perfect love story" or even "perfect relationship". Take a look in the chronicals - have the people who have been in perfect love stories ever lasted? Romeo and Juliet died tragically, So dod Laila & Majnu, Heer & Ranjha, Sohni and Mahiwal - even in P.S I love you, the couple had a perfect love story - which ended in tragedy because Gerry got a tumour and died. The rest of the stories in the world - either end in complete boredom where love eventually dies a sad death, or the people who get married just end up compromising on everything, and focusing on other aspects of life.<br />
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Is it worth making such a decision? Just to shut the mouths of nosy neighbours and annoying relatives, is it really worth gambling your life away, and then conceeding to be in a marriage that is just not you? Or is it worth taking the risk and admitting your love to the perfect someone when you meet them, knowing that it would most probably end in heartbreak, and the subsequent loss of a wonderful friend from your life forever? Is the perfect love story - which has everlasting passion, friendship, joy and companionship - and which is so elusive for some reason only god knows - worth the risk? <br />
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</div>Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-47074172129757975962010-11-17T07:05:00.000-08:002010-11-17T07:05:01.631-08:00Finding a reason to liveThere is no way by which I can begin this post. How does one start to describe their feelings when they have lost every reason to live? When life looks like an endless obstacle course, with absolutely no goal to bear them for? Everything feels just too depressing, things which I once cared about feel meaningless, and there is absolutely no reason for me to go on. <br />
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Random thoughts - what if I end it all? everything would be over. No matter what people say, about living life, about appreciating the value of life, etc, etc... all feels like bullshit. The truth is that there is no end to the nonsense which the world will put you through. the world has changed now... it is no more a place where people who are loving, caring and straightforward can survive. there is only place for the mean, the cowardly, the uncaring, the selfish, and the people who never reveal what they are really thinking, even if it were god standing before them. If the whole world is this way, then there is no use of being yourself. And if you cannot be yourself, there is no point in living.<br />
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People are weird these days.I remember the good old days when we were taught that as long as your intentions are good, you will always be able to get your message through. Not anymore. people these days judge everyone according to the way they see themselves. if they themselves are capable of cheating, lying and manipulating someone, they automatically assume you are too. No one stops to think that you are a different person, and that you may have genuine reasons for your actions. There is absolutely no logic applied in such situations - people simply judge you the way they want to, since they just need a reason to reject you from their lives. And you may fall dead before them, but they will never admit that this is how they feel.<br />
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And so, one may ask, what is the whole point of living? It is all a lie - the truth is that no one gives a rat's ass. And after all the money and the power in the world, what is the use when you cannot share it with people who you really love? and someone who loves you back - with all your faults.<br />
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This isn't a suicide note. All I was trying to do is introspect into the minds of the people who feel this way. But the, i feel at times like this, it is like working the treadmill. It feels extremely exhausting as you are running on it - the blood is pounding through your head. You feel that you need to hit the emergency stop button - and now. But then there is a voice whispering - just a little more, just a little more. And then your workout completes ultimately. You then feel extremely proud of yourself - because you did not give up.<br />
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Maybe that what life is all about. Pushing yourself to test your own limits of forbearance. So maybe, giving life another chance is worth it. Maybe we don't need to find a reason right now - maybe we should, for a change, let the reason find us.Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-2576294455621802142010-10-21T11:58:00.000-07:002010-10-21T11:58:03.103-07:00Somebody needs youLike a shining star, you light up my way,<br />
Like the singing bird, you brighten my day,<br />
Your eyes are beacons of hope and trust,<br />
Your words are dew drops to my thirst<br />
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My heart lightens up at your very name,<br />
My love flares up like a new flame,<br />
But you are always so far away<br />
Do you even hear what i say?<br />
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You are always so lost in a world of your own,<br />
Unaware of the love that has grown,<br />
In my heart, for you - my love,<br />
You smile unaware, and give me a casual shrug<br />
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But there is something you should know,<br />
There is someone who loves you so,<br />
Somebody needs you now,<br />
Somebody wants your love somehow.<br />
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Somebody's thoughts are full of you,<br />
Somebody prays for you and only you,<br />
Somebody looks for reasons to take your name,<br />
Somebody doesn't feel anymore the same.<br />
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Open up your eyes, talk to me<br />
Feel my love, see the love in me,<br />
Open up your heart, and you will see,<br />
I am your only destiny.Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-4951180334727051092010-05-14T12:01:00.000-07:002010-05-14T12:29:38.119-07:00When the going gets toughToo common. I know. Please dont groan. Please read the entire blog before you dismiss it as unneccesarry and mundane. I promise you, I ll not write the usual crap about life and I wont give any gyaan. Well, I ll try to keep it to a minimal.<br /><br />My mother always tells me that as a child, I was adorable. I was chubby and good-tempered always. Except for a phase when I couldn't bear anyone to even look at me, and would resort to high - pitched screaming if anybody committed that grievous mistake - clearly my extreme levels of social discomfort was obvious right since then. Even later, as a teenager and a college - goer, I was a positive, sunny-natured and happy - go - lucky person who had all her priorities right and was in love with the world. Everything went right for me - I had great friends, I did extremely well in my studies, met the love of my life, partied hard and landed a great job in a great company. Even at my job, I had wonderful colleagues, and I succeeded in gaining admission into a good b-school.<br /><br />But somehow along the way, I changed. I became cynical, bitter and disappointed. I went spiralling down from bad to worse. I lost many friends - a couple to death, others to fate. B-school turned out to be a hasty decision. I lost a job that I enjoyed and which was paying me well to a life full of rejection, pain and loss. I had no confidence in myself anymore and I no longer believed in life or any of its magic. I felt it was over for me - and that I ll never be able to get out of the darkness. dark thoughts plagued me night and day, I couldn't be civil to anybody, and I fell deeper into darkness, hid in it, even revelled in it, mostly because I did not like myself anymore - and it was too hard to face the truth. It was much easier to hide.<br /><br />But then, again, God took mercy on me. I was given opportunities that I never expected and which gave me some of my old confidence back. I realised, that the only thing that was coming in between me and happiness was myself.<br /><br />So, I here I am. Hopefully, on the path of healing. I have accomplished the 1st step - understood what was going on. I am trying to accept myself, and life. I tell myself daily, that in order for other people to feel like giving me opportunities, I must first of all love myself, and forgive myself. If I don't love myself, or respect myself, nobody will. And as far as life is concerned - I have accepted that I cannot control it. The things that I can control - like taking sensible day-to-day decisions, being positive and taking responsibility for myself are being taken care of by me - finally. I am not using pathetic excuses anymore to avoid taking responsibility of my own actions. I am not totally in charge yet, but I know I will get there. I am getting there.<br /><br />Even if I cannot anymore find that happy girl who I used to be and love, I will cherish her memories, accept her loss and move on. And meanwhile, I will understand the girl who has taken her place, and try to forgive her. She needs my love and attention too - We both need each other now more than ever- else we will both fall apart.Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-56999378286932572622010-05-12T03:22:00.001-07:002010-05-12T03:23:29.534-07:00Voluntarily Yours!!As we move into the new age, colleges and institutions are becoming more and more focussed towards working for social causes. Students studying various courses are now using a part of their spare time to help the under privileged. While most B-school students focus on using their newly acquired (or otherwise) marketing skills, financial acumen or entrepreneurship skills to provide a better means of livelihood to various people, like HIV\AIDS affected women, local artists of remote villages, and various others; students from other courses help the society in other ways, like organising blood donation camps, de-worming programmes at various slums, etc.<br />But few students volunteer at certain places – like suicide prevention help lines, old-age homes, adoption centres, teaching slum kids, etc. These programmes usually involve providing emotional support and other means of guidance to the under – privileged. They are like vocations – they need training, certain amount of natural skills like patience, kindness and devotion, and most of all, they need dedication. Students may not always join for the right reasons – such students may eventually drop out of these programmes.<br />These programmes can only be truly successful if the volunteers perform the activities with a true heart and an unselfish mind. These activities won’t be successful if people treat them like just another job that needs to be done for gaining some personal benefit. Successful programmes are those whose volunteers are passionate about the cause, and give the cause a top priority over other personal activities. People who join due to selfish reasons – like getting a certificate to make their CV look better – eventually lose interest and leave the programme. But in doing so, they break their commitment to the people who needed their help and who did not deserve to be abandoned again.<br />So before you volunteer, make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons. Sometimes, volunteering helps you find qualities in yourself that you did not know you had – like ability to understand people, or selflessness. These programmes - when done unselfishly, without expecting anything in return - give you joys which even a bank job in the US will never be able to provide. They give you a sense of inner peace and belonging. Sometimes, the images which we will have to deal with may be pretty disturbing. Sometimes, we may have to forego the things which we dearly love – like movies with friends, picnics, parties, etc and make compromises. But your heart feels cleansed and light – which makes it all worth it. They say, God is in all our hearts, we need to accept and feel his presence. No wonder then, these programmes make you feel this way – Because, after all, serving people is the best way to serve god.Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-79310853166096311132010-04-21T12:10:00.000-07:002010-04-21T12:54:17.749-07:00MysteryIt is defined as "Something that is not fully understood or that baffles or eludes the understanding; an enigma".<br /><br />It can be found everywhere. It is a mystery, when you can't find your keys that you <em>know</em> you had placed <em>right</em> on the table. It is a mystery, when you can't figure out the solution to the problem you think you <em>should have</em> been able to solve. It is a mystery, <strong>why</strong> your mother does the dishes each night when the servant will turn up the next day anyway.<br /><br />It is a mystery, why the guy next to the water cooler looks so anxious all the time. It is a mystery, why your boyfriend, who is so logical and clear headed, <em>just can't </em>stop being over possessive. And it is a mystery, <strong>why </strong>you <strong>need to know</strong> what baffles you. We are surrounded by mystery. It is with us, around us, outside of our reach, and within us. It puzzles, baffles, infuriates and saddens. And yet, without it, life wouldn't be itself.<br /><br />The question isn't <strong><em>what</em></strong> the mystery is. It is not even what the most important and darkest mystery is. The question is - when you are confronted by one, <strong><em>how do you deal </em></strong>with it? Do you tell yourself "Who cares" and ignore it? Do you puzzle over it occasionally, like when you are doing your laundry? Or do you make it your top priority and don't give up until you have solved it?<br /><br />Some of us, resort to ignoring. After all.. somebody did say "Ignorance is bliss". We feel that life is complicated enough, and we have too many things to worry about anyway. So why add to the load? Some others, wonder occasionally. And hope that the answer comes to them, eventually. Some of them succeed. Some mysteries are like eggs... they are best left to be hatched by time. Breaking into it would be... a waste of time.. and beauty.<br /><br />But few of us, confront these mysteries. Particularly- the most scary ones. We know, that we may not like what we find. We know, by instinct, that the mystery can't be solved unless we get personally involved. And we plunge into the bottomless pit, knowing fully well that it may not be a soft landing, and when would there <em><strong>be</strong></em> a landing at all.<br /><br />We plunge, because we feel tormented. We feel like the answer is staring at us in our faces but we are not able to recognize it. We feel that unless we know, we cannot rest. We cant rest because either we want our life to go back to normal, or we want life as we know it, to change forever. And it is these plunges we take that define the turning points of our lives. People who do take these chances, may not emerge successful always. But the turbulences in their minds do settle down. And it is for the sake of those still waters, that they take the plunge. Life becomes exciting and meaningful when it has a purpose. Trying to find answers to life's mysteries gives an insuperable thrill, a purpose and a direction that we crave.<br /><br />So the next time you feel that incessant knocking at the corner of your mind, think twice before ignoring it. That is your instinct knocking... and it is never wrong. Trust it, befriend it, and follow its direction.<br /><br />"When you have solved all the mysteries of life you long for death, for it is but another mystery of life" - Kahil GibranAnindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4153012834848836996.post-84890421899640102992010-02-13T13:18:00.000-08:002013-01-05T09:42:39.201-08:00La Douleur Exquise<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Romance. Seems cheesy in the modern world. A world where men are too busy competing with women to sweep them off their feet, and women have too much power and dont need to be rescued. In a world like this, does romance exist? And if it does, then in what disguises?<br />
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What does one mean by romance? It means the phase when life feels like a dream. When your feet is no longer touching the ground, and your heart has wings. The practical, cynical part of you takes a vacation, and your eyes are the stars that bejewel the night. When your every hope, every faith, every wish, every breath, every heartbeat seems to belong to only 1 person. When the world seems to be just the 2 of you, and no one else.<br />
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In the world today, where cell phones are loud enough to wake the dead, organizers control every day of your life, the screen of the comp the only light you see, and responsibilities not giving you even a second to breathe, romance comes in short and measured phases.<br />
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I sometimes imagine whether the authors of summer romance stories, like "Bridges of Madison County", "Vicky Christina barcelona", and so on... knew what the world was coming to. Whether they had realised that soon, people would not have time to cherish romance for the rest of their lives. Nor would they have the patience to wait for their soulmates. So they would have to recognize, and surrender to that passionate, unattainable love, whenever it entered their life, no matter for how short a time.<br />
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It could come at a time when you are least expecting it. it could come at a time when you are single, in a relationship, married or engaged to be married. It could last 6 months. Or 3. Or even a day. But the memories will haunt you forever. You will spend your whole life, fondly thinking of those mesmerising moments when you had lived an entire lifetime with your soulmate within a span of few minutes,hours or weeks. Those exquisite moments when you felt special, cherished and touched. You felt beautiful, loved and a sweet yearning for your soulmate. Soon, real life and its cynicism will take over, and those moments will remain mere memories.<br />
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Romance could be short lived in a long relationship - like the first 6 months in a newly married couple , or a committed relationship. Or it could be in the form of freedom - which a young woman gives herself to fall in love with a man of her dreams before she marries the one who is right for her. It could be a matter of a few minutes, when 2 strangers share a beautiful conversation at a party and then part ways, with no exchange of realities like phone numbers or even names, and thus lose each other forever.<br />
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What makes us fall so hopelessly in love? What happens during those few minutes, when love is about that - just love. pure and unadulterated. When even the most clumsy oaf becomes graceful. When the most negative person blushes shyly and lowers her eyes. When the plainest Janes sparkle with beauty. What happens in those few minutes, when we let our guards down and throw ourselves to life's embrace?<br />
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Whatever it is, it dosent last for ever. Because, if it did, there would be nothing exquisite about it.</div>
Anindita Chatterjeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08806315451864485391noreply@blogger.com7