Infatuation

Infatuation. It is defined (by me, as i have no time to quote other people) as the state of mind when a person covets a person, object or state of life very badly and changes his\her behaviour to what he\she feels would help him\her achieve it. Whew!! I bored myself by this. Let me see if I can write anything better.

Ahh. Infatuation is mostly commonly used to describe "crushes".. those flutters in our hearts when we meet someone who, by our standards, is simply too amazing, sweet or irresistable. Usually, looks are the main criteria for producing this state of mind. I allow myself to go off into a tangent here and remember my first crush... It was Hrithik Roshan in KNPH when
I was 14... Ahh....how I hated and cursed my braces then...

Where was I?? Yes.. crushes. When we wait for that special someone each day to appear beofre us. When any sign of recognition from that person makes us feel like we have attained nirvana. When our sole existence seems to depend on that 1 person's attention. When we dress, talk, walk, eat and sleep to impress that one person. And when they come in front of us, we suddenly become aware of things like how long and stupid our arms must look, or whether we have combed our hair, or that comfy T-shirt which . is really stupid, or !!! Yipes!!! Did we remember to spray on deo??? When we feel that if we get the love of that 1 person, we will be happy forever , and will need nothing further from life.

One would assume that infatuation of this sort is usually under one's control, and is restricted to teenage. After gaining experiance and wisdom, one appreciates the value of a true and honest relationship, and thus, makes few mistakes later due to infatuation, they ultimately get into a deep, meaningful relationship.

This, sadly isn't the case. Look at all the people around you. Some people have a penchant for complicating their lives. Even though they are in a relationship, which probably took god only knows, how many sleepless nights, scheming and wondering with friends, sweaty hand shakes, shy flurried glances, hours spent in deciding the "right look", or in some worse cases, marriage!!etc etc, they will still let their minds wander in other directions after a while, and look at newer pastures, and the whole cycle repeats, This time with a new complication - what do we do with the one we have already???

Infatuation does not limit itself to the heart alone. It extends to almost every sphere of life... anything that people are capable of complicating. It extends to friendships, career decisions, higher studies, businesses, entertainment, etc.

Take us (me, and my peers at my B-skool) for example. When we first joined MBA course, we were all brimming with enthusiasm and joy. We were all determined to excel and shine in everything, be it placements, classroom discussuons, exams, presentations, committees... the works. Everybody was punctual to ever class, everybody wanted to be a part of everything and anything, everyone wanted to do everything all at once and were ready to lose sleep over it. And we did. There was so much particaipation in every damn thing, that seniors had to conduct full fledged interviews (with 3-4 rounds) for committee memberships, we had to have polls conducted in class for electing the Class and subject representatives. And the attendance.... so full that it was impossible to get a decent place to sit if one had the misfortune to be late.

And now. The infatuation is over, the illusions are gone. Hardly anyone attends class. No one attends the meetings of any of the committees they had joined with so much enthusiasm. When they finally do, they are late, moaning and groaning, and reluctant to the point of annoyance. Today was the 1st day of the new trimester. No one wanted to be an SR. The existing ones wanted to renounce their posts.

What causes this? Is it that we attach too many expectations when we venture into something? Is it that the thing that we coveted so much was wrongly pscyhed before us by other people that we get so infatuated in the first place? When we like something so much, and work so hard for it, why is it that after a while, its all gone, like a dream? What kind of people are we, that we dont honour our decisions after we take them, or dont listen to our hearts before making those decisions?? Why do we complicate our lives so??

Happy Dusshera

Dusshera time. And end of exam time. Truly a glorious time. The best days are when you have completed a trimester and you are at the beginning of a short (or long) holiday. beginnings are always the best. They make you feel that you have so much time to do all the things you had planned to, but couldn't. They make you feel fresh and joyful. Everybody, including the meanest, crabbiest person is happy.

Dusshera marks a new beginning too. The end of evil and the beginning of a new era. When Lord Rama killed Ravana, and good won over evil. It marked the beginning of hope, happiness and a beautiful life. This festival is to remind us all that good always wins over evil, and no matter how powerful bad times are or how long they seem to be, when we tackle them, victory and light are sure to prevail.

Today was an awesome day. I went out to lokhandwala with my friends and we saw the pooja there. We offerred our prayers through the "pushpanjoli" (a prayer that is offerred through flowers). Then we ate a sumtuous bhog. The pooja was hosted by Abhijeet Bhattacharya, all humble and modest, and being a good host. The idols of the goddess Durga, in her "Mahishaasura mardhini" avataar was stunning. So were the idols of Lord Ganesha, Goddess Lakshmi, Lord Karthik and Goddess Saraswathi. They were beautifully decorated and devotedly garlanded. Durga is the goddess of war. She is the symbol of a woman's power and will. On this day, we worship her for strenght and will. So that we too can stand up to evil and fight for the truth, wisdom and values. So that, in our everday life, when confronted with wrong things and doubts whether to tackle it, we have the strenght to fight.

Then we did some shopping. Overall, other than the dreadful heat, it was an awesome day :)
Dinner time now ....

Sundays

Sunday. The best day of the week. The day when u feel relaxed and free as u have completed all ur chores and today is the day u finally get to urself. Some read, some sleep, some of the outgoing types go and meet friends, some extra outgoing types have a party. But no matter who you are, Sunday is always that day when you take time off for yourself , and become who you really are.

Not everybody though. Certainly not hotel management staff, waiters, cooks, sales people, store managers and workers, labourers, doctors, nurses, call centre employees and IT employees .. many of these guys work on Sundays too. Not to forget , bus conductors, drivers, train\engine drivers, railway staff, servants, etc. For these guys, Sunday is just another day.

And as far as today is concerened, me. Every student has that day b4 the exams when they realise that all thier planning after the last exam somehow never happened, and they suddenly find themselves standing in between an abyss full of things to study and complete (and I am not talking about toppers here. Remember guys, u are toppers cuz u DONT belong to the crowd). Today is that day for me. I have too much to do, and too little time. The fact that its a Sunday, and not just any Sunday, Dusshera time Sunday, isnt helping one bit. Anyways, I gotta try and clear as much of the load I can.

Wish me luck guys....

I am back

Was away for a long time. I had gone to Goa with the love of my life and some other friends on a holiday. Holidaying and partying with the people you love is definitely the most wonderful thing in the world. And in a place like Goa - well its like we are bang in the middle of paradise with angels singing to us our favourite songs.
I started in a gigantic hurry on Thursday afternoon - had to rush through my classes, which dragged on till 2 p.m, struggle to get a gate pass from our hostel warden - a real AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGH in the worst of times. Then i had to drag my bags (thankfully i had the sense to pack the night b4) till the main gate (a good .6 km) until i got an auto and then i left for the airport. I freshened up, gobbled down a chicken burger and then got into my flight.

The flight was brilliant. It was a light cloudy evening, and I was flying above the blue-green Arabian sea through puffy clouds which were in different shapes (there was one shaped like godzilla with its claws stretched) and the setting sun's rays refracted off them in all directions, making the whole scene a sight for sore eyes. I landed in Goa airport an hour later, and then i took a cab to Baga.

I met him there. All of us freshened up, dressed casually in slacks and then went off to Brittos, which was recommended to us by the hotel manager. We had a great evening there.. we partied hard and had an excellent time.

The next day, much to the great surprise of the manager we were awake by 8 a.m. We ate a hearty breakfast, and after renting a couple of activas, we set out to hit the beaches. The first one, Arambul, was a good 20km away. But the view and the ride was simply awesome. It was like a bursting of greenery, well kept roads, and the glittering sparkling sea in the bright sun dazzled all of us.

At Arambul, we ate at a shack, where the host have us the most exquisite fish curry and fries we had ever tasted. It was spicy, juicy and yummy. We also feasted off chicken and parathas, to finish with tasty masala chai, that was a Goan speciality. We spent some time on the beach clicking pics. But the beach was too dirty for us to venture into the water. Its hard to understand how people can feel like dirtying such beautiful places with food, cans, plastic bags and rubbish. Cleanliness is next to godliness, and people should always remember that no matter how much money u have or how many branded stuff u own, true class shows through your habits. If you are filthy, then no amount of money or godliness can make you a better person.

By now it was burning hot, and I realised that i had forgotten my beloved Lakme sunscreen lotion :( We tried to buy some local brand, applied it and then set off again. this time we visited Vagatora and Anjuna. They were gorgeous, but almost totally ruined by the groups of locals who ll keep pestering you to but accessories or tattoos.

After this tiring day we trudged back to the hotel and snored for about 2 hrs. Then we got ready again and went out to Cape Town Cafe, where we partied and had a great time with foosball and music.

The next day we visited the fort where DCH was filmed. It was a lovely place, but sooooo much exercise to reach the top :( :( Totally exhausted we headed back 2 the hotel again. After completing our packing, we went to the beach and enjoyed the rest of the evening with good food, wine and music.

The next day all of us had to leave early. He and the others came to drop me off at the station. It was a very sad departure, both of us were feeling very sad that our beautiful holiday had come to an end.

And now I am back to the life of exams, classes, ppts, n more ppts :( :( Still.. i guess life goes on. Will be back soon later

Solitude

I am sure all of us have gone through those days when we wish that the world would just come to an end.. that we could just give up everything. Today is one of those days for me.

I wish things were easier. That everything wasn't so damn difficult. I wish that the earth would stop spinning just once, for me, or all of us out there who do the mistake of expecting too much from ourselves and hence from others, so that we could have the time to cry and lick our wounds. I wish that I could go away to a magical land far far away where there was just me and nature, and god, where I could have a final, deep conversation with him.

But unfortunately this cant happen. We all have to get along, and so do I. Probably this is the only worst and best thing about life.. that it always moves ahead, and takes you along.

My first blog

Its the first time I am blogging. well not the first, I have done it before on Yahoo, but I wasnt very serious at that time.

I have just finished watching the telugu horror movie "Arundhati". It was a really good movie. It was about the struggle of a warrior princess with a psychopath. The classic war between right and wrong, love and hate, light and darkness. Amazing movie with good graphics and a gripping story.

But this movie has provided interesting insights to the film industry. the film industry in the south which was male dominant, and in most of which there always had to be a man to save the woman, is changing. This movie and its stupenduous success, along with others like Anasooya marks the beginning of a new era. An era in which women are respected and accepted as authority figures. An era in which women can be accepted in roles of a protector, a ruler and a warrior, but at the same time, she's not manly(to show as an explanation to her roles, as the other movies like Tomb raider did before). She is a loving, caring mother, beautiful and radiant. Bollywood could take a leaf out of the books of such brilliant directors to make more sensible movies.

Thats all for today :) Have to finish loads of work now