A Wish

Mom always says that there are 2 kinds of people in the world. The first kind are the givers - the people who always give - love, help, friendship & care - to people around them. The second kind are the takers - the ones who only keep taking stuff - materials, time, love, feelings - from as many people as possible, and still want more. The givers are the people who somehow, can just not stop caring. And the takers are the ones who will just not care.

Today, I am reminded of one of my favorite lines from the classic "Gone with the wind". The scene depicts Scarlett O Hara, watching her family members bustle in excitement & cheerfulness as they cut up her mother's old curtains to make her a dress. She alone knows in her mind, the devious plot she has hatched, for which she needed the dress. She knew that what she planned to do was entirely shocking, and was something her dead mother would feel very ashamed about. She realized  that in order to survive, and to ensure the safety of her dead father's property & the well being of her remaining family, she was going to do something which she would have probably never even thought about, if the war had not changed the world. She realized, that she had indeed, changed. Her core values, her morals had changed. But the people she cared about - the people for whom she had had to change, were still exactly the same people they were before the war. They could still afford to be themselves, and believe in the old values of the past, values which she was taught and values which she had prided herself for, because she had changed for them. And this was not something they realized. The irony was that if they had any idea what her plans were, they would be shocked, and would judge her to no end. But she had to do it - because if she did not, they would never survive. 

I am among the people who care too much. I wish I did not. There is no point really - in a world like today's - who really cares? No one gives a shit about anyone - no matter what happens. People forget their so called "best friend's" birthday, and don't bother disrupting their daily life even a little, because for them, their comfort zone is too important. I care, and so I decided to take the effort, because someone had to. And now, I am going to be judged - just because I asked people to step out of their comfort zones - just a little. But if I stopped caring, if I too continued behaving like everyone else, then there would be nothing left. But is this something which people realise? No they don't. They don't realise that they can all remain in their comfort zones & gossip & judge me, because I am the one keeping all of them together.

Maybe the fault lies with me. It is not necessary to care so much. Why should I spoil my relationships with people, & fight for others when I know perfectly well that its of absolutely no use? I wish I knew the answer. I wish.. I knew why even after millions of experiences  why I continue to care, why I cant become like the others. I wish I knew why I was such a masochist. I wish I could just not bother, and stop caring. I wish the pain would go away - a pain that has become all to familiar now. I wish I could just continue being merry & make politically correct statements whenever it mattered, and all the time ensuring that I don't have to even lift a single finger to help anyone.

Cultural Dilution

I had a long hard day. In fact, I had a long hard week, although, my week had started on Wednesday, when I got back to work from a great holiday. Over the last few weeks, I have had a lot of interesting conversations with friends, family & colleagues. All of their views have got me thinking on the subject - What is right & What is Wrong?

Ours is a society which is based on ancient tradition. This ancient tradition, over the years, changed several shades due to political & cultural influences froun invaders across the world. Now, our old, glorious tradition is almost lost - and all that remains is a half hazard, confused concoction which no one can really connect to. You may meet several people during the day who are very religious & culture conscious - they diligently offer prayers in their place of religion, they observe various traditions, give/take dowry as per their own sect's custom, arrange for ridiculously expensive weddings which could explain the reason why most western nations dont regard Indian poverty very seriously, and frown upon women who are "forward". Yet - when you have an in depth conversation with them about their customs, and delve deeper into their thoughts to understand why they stand by their traditions - they dont really have a satisfying answer. A satisfying answer would be either a logical one - giving a firm reason to why such and such activity should be performed due to x,y,z effects over society or oneself - or would simply be that believing gives them faith, and faith gives them strength to forbear the hardships of life.

But no - all you get are confused arguments, and hurriedly ended conversations. The main reason is that most people in our country do what they do simply because they have been programmed that way. This would also explain, the brutal rape case in Delhi. Dont get me wrong - women in our country have been raped continuously since forever. However, this particular case is particularly heart wrenching, simply because the nerve of the culprits has shaken everyone to their bone.

Somehow - I dont quiet digest the uproar. In ancient India, women were revered, respected & had an equal place in society. Hinduism is probably, one of the few religions in the world which have an equal number of male & female dieties. Some of the female dieties are in fact, considered to be more powerful under given circumstances than their male counterparts. The reason for all these values is the dilution of culture. And by culture - I dont mean religions. No religion on the planet encourages rape, torture & murder. Every religion preaches love, respect & mutual harmony. The cultural dilution happened because most of the outsiders who settled here were barbarians, conquerers, who used various techniques to break the steady harmony in this great land, divide its people, create differences & confusion & corrupt minds - to rule.

What we should remember is that we are no more ruled by barbarians. However, their dirty imprints still remain. The judicial system in India is now so complicated, that even for a terrorist like Kasab, who was seen killing & murdering hundreds of innocent people with great pleasure on camera in national television, the decision of capital punishment was given after 5 long years of trails & appeals. In India, the cultural dilution has become so intense, that a woman's safety, which was once considered one of the sacred dharmas for men, has now become a public joke. The wonderful constitution of India, does not consider rape to be worthy of capital punishment, or even life long imprisonment. Additionally, marital rape & forced anal or oral penetration is not even classified as rape. Punishments pertaining to molestation & other forms of assault are embarrasing, to say the least.

Even if there is complete evidence of the crime being committed, the court can take at least 4-5 years to reach a decision. And even if the court does take the right decision, "Human Rights" organisations spring out of nowhere demanding that the accused be let free, as he as already served the requisite number of years while awaiting trail. Politicians involve their dirty shit, making things murkier. Media takes things to even lower levels, by constantly flashing pictures of the victims & their family, while considerately protecting the accused. All the ruckus goes on for a few days - maybe a few weeks, and then people move on. After all, everyone has jobs to do, lives to live, & families to feed. The media move on to a new scandal, and life goes on.

So as ordinary citizens, as ordinary female citizens, what can we do? I would love to fight for the girl - see to it that all the culprits are publicly tortured & killed  - only after they beg for mercy. But I am only one person. It feels very nice to say that one person can make a difference- blah, blah. Fuck that shit. The truth is that practically, I feel useless & helpless. I know that the real problem is the culture dilution - and its effects. The way our society is. The way it treats educated, ambitious, frank & free spirited women. The way eve teasers are considered adorable - watch the new ad with the cricketer teaching his pals how to hit on gals. I know that I alone cannot change the country in one day.

Thus, I will pray. I still believe in God. My roots have always taught me that God acts in mysterious, but sure shot ways. I pray to the lord to have pity on the poor girl, on her parents, on other helpless women like her in this country who are constantly under the fear of attack. I pray to God to let me live to see the day when parents bid their daughters good bye each morning without worrying about their safety. I pray to God to let that glorious age return once more, when men & women mutually respected one another, and worked hard towards common goals rather than demonise themselves as well as society with corrupt thoughts of lust, control & power.