Feeling alone and miserable is a familiar feeling. You feel this way generally when you have lost something really important in life. It could be your job, someone you loved, a relationship, a friendship, anything. At these times, they say that the best thing to do is to keep a brave heart, and introspect. Even better, try and spend time with someone totally unrelated to your own tragedy. Keeping your mind occupied on other, simpler things eases the pain. Soon, you start feeling more normal again. The pain which you felt before from your loss lessens. You feel as though it was all a part of a distant dream – something that happened several million years ago. You think about yourself as a person now and then, and then realise – exactly how much you have changed.
But then it happens again. And again. Several times. Fate plunges its knife at you several times, like a serial killer gone completely psychotic. You keep telling yourself – This time, I have learned. Like Eminem – you firmly vow – There will be a No next time. Unfortunately, real life isn’t like the Simpsons. It isn’t a show where someone will read the moral of the story, and you move on. Real life is a lot more complicated than that. You end up becoming a victim – helpless, defenceless, and wounded.
But what is the end product of this mess? You start feeling completely empty. This is the price your soul pays after your dignity has been attacked – not once, but several times. You lead a normal life as per social norms – you meet up with people, you go to work, you party, read – do all the stuff which a normal happy person usually does. But deep down inside, you know that it really isn’t you. Your heart is just not in it. You realise that every single word out of your mouth is purely mechanical – you feel like a robot which has been specially programmed to behave human. Someone cries – you offer sympathy. Someone laughs – you laugh with them. You have a one night stand with some random guy – you smile and say goodbye. But you know that deep down inside, you don’t feel a thing.
But there is always hope. And this is the magic of life. It takes a hit at you yet again – but from a completely different side. And when it does, instead of feeling miserable and angry – or even empty – you actually feel wonderful. Because the hurt that you feel, the pain that makes you well up – makes you realise that you are not completely stone. There are still feelings left in you – there is still something. And this is the something that you have to hang on to.
Maybe you will not get exactly what you wanted. Maybe you will not get where you wanted to be, in the time that you expected. But you gotta realise – life is a huge gamble. You play right, you win. And the key to playing right, is to trust your own instincts. And if you lose – well, you have to survive that.
But then it happens again. And again. Several times. Fate plunges its knife at you several times, like a serial killer gone completely psychotic. You keep telling yourself – This time, I have learned. Like Eminem – you firmly vow – There will be a No next time. Unfortunately, real life isn’t like the Simpsons. It isn’t a show where someone will read the moral of the story, and you move on. Real life is a lot more complicated than that. You end up becoming a victim – helpless, defenceless, and wounded.
But what is the end product of this mess? You start feeling completely empty. This is the price your soul pays after your dignity has been attacked – not once, but several times. You lead a normal life as per social norms – you meet up with people, you go to work, you party, read – do all the stuff which a normal happy person usually does. But deep down inside, you know that it really isn’t you. Your heart is just not in it. You realise that every single word out of your mouth is purely mechanical – you feel like a robot which has been specially programmed to behave human. Someone cries – you offer sympathy. Someone laughs – you laugh with them. You have a one night stand with some random guy – you smile and say goodbye. But you know that deep down inside, you don’t feel a thing.
But there is always hope. And this is the magic of life. It takes a hit at you yet again – but from a completely different side. And when it does, instead of feeling miserable and angry – or even empty – you actually feel wonderful. Because the hurt that you feel, the pain that makes you well up – makes you realise that you are not completely stone. There are still feelings left in you – there is still something. And this is the something that you have to hang on to.
Maybe you will not get exactly what you wanted. Maybe you will not get where you wanted to be, in the time that you expected. But you gotta realise – life is a huge gamble. You play right, you win. And the key to playing right, is to trust your own instincts. And if you lose – well, you have to survive that.
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