Finding a reason to live

There is no way by which I can begin this post. How does one start to describe their feelings when they have lost every reason to live? When life looks like an endless obstacle course, with absolutely no goal to bear them for? Everything feels just too depressing, things which I once cared about feel meaningless, and there is absolutely no reason for me to go on.

Random thoughts - what if I end it all? everything would be over. No matter what people say, about living life, about appreciating the value of life, etc, etc... all feels like bullshit. The truth is that there is no end to the nonsense which the world will put you through. the world has changed now... it is no more a place where people who are loving, caring and straightforward can survive. there is only place for the mean, the cowardly, the uncaring, the selfish, and the people who never reveal what they are really thinking, even if it were god standing before them. If the whole world is this way, then there is no use of being yourself. And if you cannot be yourself, there is no point in living.

People are weird these days.I remember the good old days when we were taught that as long as your intentions are good, you will always be able to get your message through. Not anymore. people these days judge everyone according to the way they see themselves. if they themselves are capable of cheating, lying and manipulating someone, they automatically assume you are too. No one stops to think that you are a different person, and that you may have genuine reasons for your actions. There is absolutely no logic applied in such situations - people simply judge you the way they want to, since they just need a reason to reject you from their lives. And you may fall dead before them, but they will never admit that this is how they feel.


And so, one may ask, what is the whole point of living? It is all a lie - the truth is that no one gives a rat's ass. And after all the money and the power in the world, what is the use when you cannot share it with people who you really love? and someone who loves you back - with all your faults.

This isn't a suicide note. All I was trying to do is introspect into the minds of the people who feel this way. But the, i feel at times like this, it is like working the treadmill. It feels extremely exhausting as you are running on it - the blood is pounding through your head. You feel that you need to hit the emergency stop button - and now. But then there is a voice whispering - just a little more, just a little more. And then your workout completes ultimately. You then feel extremely proud of yourself - because you did not give up.

Maybe that what life is all about. Pushing yourself to test your own limits of forbearance. So maybe, giving life another chance is worth it. Maybe we don't need to find a reason right now - maybe we should, for a change, let the reason find us.