My reflection - My self - My alter ego - Myself

You are just like me. We control. We fight. We bulldoze our way into things we feel that’s right. We follow our hearts. Endlessly. To the point where other people tell us that we are crazy, and that we are just hurting ourselves. But that’s just us.

We are crazy. We are wild. We dance to the tune of a single drummer – and that is ourselves. We are bound by our hearts. Our hearts guide us through the boredom of routine. Yet, we clutch on to routine – cuz it’s the only thing that keeps is sane. We realize – we are borderlines. We have no limits. We realize that we are bound – and we try and break free. We are restlessly, endlessly, struggling – to make ourselves visible among a bunch of peas in a pod.

We try and confirm. We try to convince everyone that we are trying. We try to smile at people who we don’t really care about – in the hope that we may be proved wrong by all those wise people in society. We fear that our loved ones will die in the knowledge that they couldn't do by us. We want them to be happy – but we also realize that we cannot lie to ourselves. And in this anguish, we end up hurting ourselves.  

Other people try being us. They copy our attitudes, our hairstyles, our tattoos, our speech, our wild selves. They make a poor show – they end up being self conceited assholes, who true to their own nature, cannot care two hoots about another human. But the one thing they just cannot copy – is us. We are unpredictable. We are insane. We have no limits. We don’t care about what other people think. We respond to just a single judge – the sound of our own conscience. We are just… us.

We follow a different star. We have our own standards – and no matter how illogical we sound, or how logical they do – we realize its crap. Our standards are far above the average. We don’t do good deeds to make ourselves (or people at the temple) happy. We don’t try to score brownie points through good deeds. In fact – we try being our darker selves. We use our darker selves as a camouflage.

People are afraid of us. They are afraid of our righteous voices. They can’t control us – because we don’t really care about what people think. We know that we are right, and we plough on. That’s just us.

But what is it between us? Why can’t we see each other? Why do I hurt you so much…. Why do I roller-blade your feelings? And why do you use every single opportunity to hurt me with your indifference? Why do you pull yourself away? Why cant you understand that I was sent here because I am just like you? Why don’t you realize that we were meant to be?

Why are we ignoring each other? Both of us together could be formidable – we could rule the world. We could – because we are both exactly alike – just the way god intended us to be. But why are we so scared?  

Who are we? If god intended us to be, why are we holding back?

It is fear that is holding us back. The past has not done anything to help us – instead, it holds us back.

But I have faith --- the one thing the past hasn't conquered.

I don’t know if you have kept yours. But I will pray for you, and for myself…. And for all that I think we withhold.